Stop Scrolling - Start Living!
11 practical tips to create a healthy and mindful relationship with your tech (Bonus: Tips for Parents)
Ever feel like your phone is glued to your hand? You're not alone. I had the same feeling!
in his essay called this phenomenon the Dopamine Culture. He stated that judging from people’s reactions and testimonies, this dependency on technology is worse than he thought originally.People don’t even try to multitask, they are abandoning essential life tasks—because of the compulsion to scroll. They prefer scrolling to sleeping, doing physical activity, finding a job, etc.
But all hopes are not lost!
If you are ready to break free of this addiction and take back control of your life, read on.
In this post, I will share some practical strategies that helped me reduce my social media use and find a healthier balance with technology.
Update (30.04.2024)
I added Bonus Tips #2 on replacing the main YouTube app with YouTube Kids app.
I added Bonus Tips #3 after I discovered that TikTok, Instagram and Facebook provide tools to manage your screen time directly from the app.
Measure your baseline
In other types of addiction, people often state how much they did; e.g. how much alcohol/cigarettes/drugs they consume.
Let us do the same thing and measure how much screen time we’ve been spending on our tech.
All modern smartphones have a built-in function to track these statistics.
In Android, it’s called Digital Wellbeing, and in iOS it’s called Screen Time. You can find it via the phone Settings.
If you open it you should see a chart that will tell you the time you spent today (and previous days).
Have a look around, and calculate your weekly average.
This number is our baseline, and we want to reduce it!
To do this I took a 2-prong practical approach:
Eliminate Distractions.
Change your habit/environment.
And I have bonus tips for all Parents with young children.
Eliminate Distractions
It is a distraction when what we are currently doing is taking away our attention from what we are supposed to do.
Hence, we need to reduce or eliminate it.
Fortunately, there are apps for it 😉
1. Turn OFF Notifications!
You and I know very well that notifications are the ultimate distractor!
Turn them off!
Go to your smartphone’s notification settings and do these:
Turn off ALL notifications on ALL apps. You can turn it ON again individually later for only essential apps.
Turn off app badges. Those numbers are always so inviting for us to open the app. They need to disappear.
2. Set Time Limit for App Usage
I was not ready to do a total digital detox yet, so the next best thing was to reduce how much time I used my apps.
This can be done easily using the built-in functionality I mentioned above.
The App Timer function limits your use of a particular app over a 24-hour period. When the time limit is reached you won't be able to use the app for the rest of the day.
I recommend setting the limit to the lowest possible value that is reasonable for you. I set mine to 1 hour for a heavily used app. You can gradually re-adjust it - higher or lower - depending on your experience.
The time limit is effectively a ‘roadblock’ to give you time to stop and think “Do I need this now?”.
You can always cancel the timer setting and keep using the app, but that requires intent. And this is the point of this limitation, it adds a little ‘friction’ into your app experience to stop you from using it.
3. Stay Focus
If the previous trick is about limiting the time you can use your app, the Focus Mode is like a ‘sledgehammer’ that you can wield anytime you want!
It means that with one touch of a button, you can pause your apps, i.e. you can’t use them and you won’t get any notification from them.
It’s like a supercharge ‘Do Not Disturb’ mode.
In Android, the Focus Mode is part of the Digital Wellbeing setting.
In iOS, the Focus Mode is a separate setting. But both work in the same way.
Check out this comprehensive Focus Mode guide for iOS by Geometric Goods.
4. It’s Over Your Bedtime
Let me ask you: “What do you do just before you go to bed at night?”
I was an influencer on Instagram, and I used to stay up at night - on my bed - sometimes for hours just to have a conversation with my followers.
It’s damaging, mentally and physically.
The Bedtime Mode helps you to have that absolute rest from your phone!
You can set up a daily schedule when you want it to start and end automatically (Tips - set it up to start half an hour before your bedtime).
In Android, the Bedtime mode will turn everything blank and white, dim the screen and stop all phone calls, messages and notifications apart from the essentials.
Unfortunately, it won’t stop you from using the apps, except that everything will be in black and white like old TVs.
But combined with the App Timer, you have everything you need for a good night sleep!
In iOS you can access the Sleep Mode from the Control Center. iOS provides more functionalities regarding Sleep in general, e.g. Sleep Tracking, Wind Down and integration with the Apple Watch.
5. Use Third-Party Apps
Some of the functionalities I mentioned above are only available on the latest version of Android or iOS, but don’t worry you can find plenty of third-party apps that give you similar functionality and more. I have curated some of them here:
Freedom is a Focus App which enables users to block a set of apps in a session for a set period. One useful feature of this app is that it can also block websites or the entire internet.
Apart from showing daily and weekly app usage stats, Screen Time can limit time for individual apps.
Stay Focused gives you usage statistics, app time limit, focus mode and website blocking.
Opal is a Focus app for iOS. It produces nice reports from your usage statistics and generates a feature called the Focus Score.
It also has a timer and a comprehensive blocking schedule for apps.
OneSec is an interesting Focus App. It overlays an animation screen every time you try to open an app. The animation has a caption that asks you to take a deep breath 🙂
Then it gives you the option either to cancel or continue with your intention.
This 3-second wait evidently works, judging from many user testimonies including from this person who suffered from ADHD.
6. Remove Apps
If all the above don’t seem to work for you, there is always one last resort … removing the app!
It’s a bit extreme, but an extreme situation requires an extreme measure.
One caveat here is that most social media has a web app which you can access via the web browser as an alternative. However, usually the web app is not as feature-complete as the native mobile app, so it’s not as user-friendly, which again adds friction to the app experience.
In any case, it’s probably a good time to take stock of apps you have on your phone and remove anyone that you don’t (never?) use.
Change Your Habit/Environment
I wrote recently about one way of achieving success in life is by changing our habits or environment. After all, you cannot expect a different outcome if you do the same thing over and over again, or stay at the same place.
7. Do not check your phone immediately after you get up in the morning.
I will ask the same question as I did for the bedtime, “What do you do as soon as you wake up in the morning?” -
Exactly!
I’ve been trying now for a few months not to even look at my phone for at least 15 to 30 minutes in the morning. It’s been hard but working quite well so far.
Also if you couple this with using the Bedtime Mode, i.e. set the end-time way after the time you usually wake up, it’s going to help a lot. This way you won’t even see any notification on your lock screen even if you take a glance at it.
8. Move Distracting Apps Off the Home Screen
I have started doing this recently.
I moved all my social media apps that gave me the most distractions, either away from my phone’s Home Screen or into a folder (and still away from the Home Screen).
The idea is to make it harder for us to find the app and open it.
It might not work if one is determined enough, but I’d take every little help I could get.
9. And Replace Them with different apps
For example, I have my Kindle, ChatGPT and Spotify on my Home Screen.
The idea is to change our habit from opening the distracting apps to the more productive apps.
People also suggested listening to songs in their entirety, or even the whole album. We are so used to watch 15 seconds Reels
10. Detox Your Social Media Feeds!
Everyone should be aware by now of how mentally damaging social media can be. The big tech knows this but doesn’t do much about it, all they care about is their bottom line.
Again Ted Gioa in his other essay touched on this topic brilliantly.
No one is coming to help you, you are on your own in this. It’s up to you to break free from this Dopamine trap.
It’s time to detox your social media feeds!
Start by unfollowing non-essential accounts and public profiles that post content you find irrelevant or negative!
Fewer followings mean less garbage on your feeds. It means fewer notifications, and that means fewer distractions!
On the other side of the coin, start following people who add ‘value’ to your life, especially the ones who can give you genuine support.
Finding the ‘Right Tribe’ is one way to improve our mental well-being.
11. Bonus Tips #1 on Parenting
I have 2 young children. I know very well what Social Media can do to young minds. That’s why I am doing everything I can to protect them from it.
I encourage you to do the same.
Here are some of the things I did:
I hardly ever put my children’s photos on the public internet, and I try to tell the extended family as well as the schools not to do it either.
I only gave my son a smartphone when he turned 10, and that was only so we could communicate with him. I could’ve given him a simple phone (the one with only a calling function), but I want him to have a modern messaging app not just the old SMS. This way we can reach him in a variety of ways.
One more important reason for having a smartphone is about Parental Control. This was a deal breaker for me. I wanted to have control of and to put some limit on his usage of the phone. I also wanted the option to track the phone on the map, just in case of an emergency.
Lastly, I don’t allow them to have any account on any Social Media!
Even with all these restrictions I can see that they are still greatly influenced by having these gadgets. This is where the other part of Parenting comes in handy. I sit down and discuss with them about having a balance between ‘playing with gadgets’ and doing real-life stuff.
One last thing, the best thing to distract them from the distractions is getting alternative activities.
Nurture a reading habit, do sport or music, or any hobbies, anything that requires physical movement and interaction with other people would do very well as distraction.
This works well for children as well as for us adults.
Bonus Tips #2 - Install YouTube Kids App
I recently discovered that YouTube provides a YouTube app that caters for Children. It's called YouTube Kids (duh!) app and I started to installed this app in all my kids smart devices and removed the main YouTube app.
This special will show only videos that (YouTube think) are appropriate to the Age Level you set. There is no Search functionality available, so what you see on the list is what you can watch.
The app also allows you to set a Timer on how long the user can use it.
So far it works well with my children, they didn’t complain about missing anything from the old app.
I urge parents to install this app.
Bonus Tips #3 - Screen Time Management in TikTok, Instagram and Facebook
In a recent TED Talk’s interview, TikTok CEO Shou Chew explained TikTok’s commitment in putting the user’s privacy, security, safety and digital well-being as the company’s priority.
On the digital well-being side, Shou gave an example that TikTok has Screen Time and Parental Control built-in the app’s settings.
As you can see from the screenshot, you can check your daily screen time specifically for TikTok. In addition, you can set a limit of how much time you want to spend each day. When the time is up you will get a notification right on the app screen.
You can also set a reminder to take a break or when you are about to sleep.
As for Parental Control, parents can ‘pair’ their TikTok account to their children’s account through the Family Pairing setting.
Here you can start monitoring the children’s screen time and set limits on their usage.
I was genuinely happy that TikTok has taken the matter of digital well-being seriously by providing these tools for its users.
And that made me wonder if other Social Media apps also provide similar tools. I’m glad to report that some of them do indeed!
Instagram and Facebook have similar tools. I don’t see that Twitter(X) has it though.
With some of the biggest Social Media apps giving us the tool to manage our screen time, plus all the other strategies I mentioned above, there is no excuse to continue on the path of mental destruction. Use time - use time now!
I hope that I’ve given you enough practical strategies to start this journey of reclaiming your time and life.
I mentioned that finding the ‘Right Tribe’ is important for help and support. I created a new Thread for “Digital Detox Accountability”. I encourage you to use it. Public Accountability is one of the best methods to measure progress.
Finally, if you know any other tips or tricks that might work for us, don’t hesitate to share it in the comment.
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Hi there!
If you are new, it’s good to see you and thanks for reading so far.
My name is Chris Prakoso, I came originally from Indonesia but am now settling down in Slovakia with my family. I used to write a blog professionally and wrote about technology.
But here in Life Apprentice, I am sharing my life’s lesson learned.
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I also love this topic — as a new mom, it’s on my mind every day. I’m always eager to learn more about the healthiest way to share and to limit tech with children such that they’re both safe and also free to be kids. Thank you!
I love this topic! Thanks for the thorough tips!
I've done all those things for "change your environment" - I found it incredibly helpful.
Something that we do in our family is that we don't allow their smart phones in their rooms (they need a break, kids message other kids at 12am, 2am in the morning. Teenagers and lack of sleep is not a good mix.)
Our kids didn't grow up with smart phones, they came when our youngest was towards the end of primary school. I got the "everyone has an iPhone" around that time. As hard as it was then, it's harder now. I feel for parents coming up behind me, but I'm also grateful that there is more and more done to protect the kids and their social media and phone usage.